


it'll all be alright (i'll be home tonight)

by amosanguis



Series: author's fave [37]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Avengers (2012), Steve Rogers Is Not Okay, Suicidal Thoughts, abuse of parentheses, title from a country song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 06:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2377859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amosanguis/pseuds/amosanguis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Why did you wake me up?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	it'll all be alright (i'll be home tonight)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Home" by Blake Shelton

-z-

 

“Why did you wake me up?”

 

-x-

 

Bucky screams.  Bucky falls.

Steve screams.  Steve doesn’t fall (and he hates himself for it).

 

-x-

 

“Why couldn’t you just let me sleep?” Steve asks, scrubs at his face, exhausted from the vast amount of nothing he can bring himself to do.

 

-x-

 

Bucky screams (falls) and Steve screams (doesn’t fall) and the Commandos shiver in fear.  Because Steve’s screaming (and goddammit, he’s not falling) and he’s cutting deep into his enemies – coming out of his battles covered in blood and gore.

(That last mission before the big hit on Hydra doesn’t make it into the history books.  The American people didn’t need to know how about the Captain’s brutality in those last few days.)

 

-x-

 

“Why couldn’t you have just left me in peace?!” he near-shouts, rounding on Fury.

“We need you, Cap,” Fury says, his voice quiet as if talking to a skittish animal.

(It pisses Steve off.)

 

-x-

 

He brings Hydra to its knees; then he has to deal with the planes and the explosives.

“I’ve gotta put it in the water,” he says – doesn’t hesitate to point the nose down.

He hears phantom screams on the wind, thinks he sees Bucky falling beside him.

(Steve finally falls, too.)

Then the icy water is filling his lungs and the freeze is beginning to dig into his muscles, his bones, and _oh,_   _God_ , it’s so painful – and then it’s peaceful.  The force of the water jerks him out of the seat, slams him into the ceiling.

There’s a few beats where Steve thinks he should swim for the back, swim for the surface.  Instead he lets his weight pull him down.  Then he grabs his shield, curls around it and sleeps.

 

-x-

 

 _I have no one left I want to protect_ , Steve doesn’t say, _I don’t care if you all rot._

“Seems like dying once wasn’t enough for you people,” he says instead, even as he slowly reaches for the folders Fury hands to him.  “You should’ve just left me in the ice.”

 

-x-

 

When he sees Bucky alive, Steve screams and Steve falls (Bucky does what Steve couldn’t do last time – he dives after him).

 

-z-

 

End.


End file.
